Hope all is well where you are. Today’s blog is a little written therapy for me but I’d love to hear your own thoughts on the subject.
The biggest problem that I find I have when I’m trying to be creative the need for perfection and the worry that should I release my creation into the world that it would be poorly received, seen as inferior or worse just plain ignored. I guess there’s a lot of ego that goes into a writer and there’s a TON of self-doubt. It’s a fine line between telling yourself you are good enough and not letting it over inflate your head somewhat.
I’ve had a number of projects falter to go into the editing stage, sitting as nothing more than manuscripts because I convince myself that they are not good enough so why bother editing them… why waste the time when they’ll go nowhere? It’s a horrible feeling to watch as a slow accumulation of ideas are benched for the next shiny idea because in the hype of the new idea train… which quickly derailed on the tracks of crushing self-criticism. It’s a horrible cycle that goes around and around.
So, I’m struggling. It’s fair to say, but writing this helps. Putting words to paper makes me feel accountable. Makes me feel empowered to conquer my doubt.
I guess, it’s the unbridled discomfort of picking myself up every morning and heading into a job that offers me no real joy. While I gripe about it’s easier than fully committing myself to potential failure. And that’s what it all comes down to.
A fear of failure.
Do you also suffer from this? I can’t be the only one, yet it has some spell over me that makes me feel like I am.
What do you do to combat this effect? What makes you try and break through to the other side?
I haven’t written in a while because the passion for moving forward has faded, replaced with a lazy underestimation of self-worth. I know it’s going to pass. Its simply the effect of the cold wet weather, dull working conditions and a stagnant social life.
I went out last weekend and met some new people, I’m trying to do more things with friends and family, additionally I’m pushing through with my work creatively. I can be scared of failing all I want but if I don’t try then I can’t possibly fail but then… I can never succeed. Risk and reward separates the possibility of dreams and reality. If I never try to overcome my fear then I’ll be its victim forever.
The decision is down to me. Where do I want to be this time next year… or five years? Do I still want to be in the same place as I currently am or will I look back on these difficult times and be grateful I pushed through?
But if I don’t try and not worry about failing then I’m never going to find out.
Apologies as this has become a bit of a rant but it’s really helped me feel uplifted and invigorated.
What helps you power through the difficult periods of doubt?